Thursday, March 19, 2015
This weeks theme for #WASO is Introducing change. I can’t speak to that since we are still waiting to adopt. Instead I think I’ll talk about my obsession with numbers and how it helps me cope with the wait.
I've said time and again I wasn't into social media before embarking on our journey to parenthood. I had a Facebook page and a photo site or two but rarely used them. I now have probably 1/2 to 2/3 of what’s out there and would probably do more but I couldn't keep up with it. So I broke open that shell very early in the process and slowly added more social media as the wait continued.
We have our Facebook Page and it’s isn't updated as often as it probably should be but I do try to post something every week at the very least. Twitter is the one that I probably don't use as I should. I’m more a re-tweeter of others or I favor posts I think are fun, cute, funny, or relate to adoption. I've posted our blog, etc but we never got traffic for it so I just stopped. I then also have Instagram, Pinterest, Google plus, a you tube channel plus 3 adoption pages, 2 of which I routinely update and of course this blog.
So what about that numbers thing I mentioned, well Google Analytics plays a huge role in what I do every day. I figure out where our page traffic comes from and what pages are being viewed. I also check where in the states that traffic is coming from and then cross-reference our sites that have separate analytics. I want to see if it’s actual good traffic or if it’s bots. I know for a lot of folks they just stay away from G.A. to keep them from obsessing but it actually makes me feel better and shows what referral source it’s from. I noticed over the last month that social sites I thought might be a waste of time are actually driving some of the traffic, sure the numbers are minimal but it only takes the right expectant mom to find our page and get to know us better through words and pictures. I know it doesn't work for everyone but for me it keeps the wait more reasonable knowing we are being viewed.
Friday, March 13, 2015
It’s the weekend and it should be a great one around here. This isn't really adoption related this week, except to say we hope to enjoy these types of weekends with our own child soon.
Our new flooring for downstairs and the stairs has arrived at the store this week and we’ll be going to pick it up tonight. I’m so happy to finally rid myself of the carpeting soon. It is going to be so much easier to clean, bye-bye daily vacuuming and weekly carpet cleaning and hello sweeper and mop. I’m looking forward to it being done but am not excited to move everything from room to room as we lay it. There is always a downside to DIY home improvement. We won’t be able to begin working on it right away since the flooring must acclimate at least three days. The soonest we can start is next week and I’m not sure he’ll want to be laying flooring after work but we’ll see.
As for the rest of the weekend we’ll be going up to a friend’s place for the night. Our other friends we’re also going to come over but they've gotten sick so they had to cancel. We usually bring food to share while we play games and I’m thinking I might make a Flourless Chocolate Cake this time. It’s one of my favorite chocolate recipes and so simple with 4 ingredients. It’s extremely rich so this small “cake” goes a long way. It’s from my Test Kitchen cookbook. If you're in the mood for chocolate give this a try.
Have a great weekend everyone!
Wednesday, March 11, 2015
So we’re trying finalize plans for our trip to Italy and oh boy! The stress and anxiety are setting in.
We’re also dealing with the disappointment of our last contact and her unwillingness to provide proof of pregnancy to us or our agency. This was a devastating blow to us. Not that some things didn’t seem to add up but that things seemed to be going in the right direction and then Bam! A wall x3 and consequently a severed line.
That’s the truth with Adoption. It’s a never ending stream of doubt, hope, faith, and disappointment. No matter how you come to adoption on any side of the triad it’s got you in a knot at some point.
We had a contact that was feeling out her options and we knew going in it was a likely no go. We watched, added our 2 cents as warranted and she had her child on the 5th. I feel privileged to share that with her because of her honesty. We’ve had other contacts that weren’t up front an honest and I’m not sure I’d be as gracias as I am with the one who was if I was lied to. As a measure a lie is not being true to one’s self or others. I’m thrilled that that contact figured out she wanted to parent without dragging anyone into a drama and tear filled issue at the hospital. Not that that’s unheard of even with the most devoted of their Adoption plans just that we were lucky to not get that far for disappointment.
Does that mean we aren’t sympathetic the answer is no. We understand our risks and as always a woman who decides to parent is amazing in many ways. Not only did she think of extending life with an adoption plan but she tried her darnedest to follow through but couldn’t; however that plays out (Family/Friends step up or the father steps up, etc).
So I hope to lose my adoption self in our trip to Italy with friends from the other coast. I am anxious I won’t get the grammar correct or I don’t negotiate enough but just the ability to go and lose myself in our friends and my husband and myself is key on this journey.
I continue to hope each and every day that we will find a match but I can no longer put our lives on hold while we wait.
Many blessings to us all in the wait!
Thursday, March 5, 2015
Staying positive and looking on the bright side during the wait can be a great challenge some days. Most of the time we plug along with everyday tasks, always with a positive energy that today could be the day. So a few ways we keep upbeat:
- Always wake with hope. Hope to dream what the day can be. I always wake with the thought that maybe we got a message, email, or call and that today could be the day that changes our life.
- Stay busy but don’t lose focus on your goals.
- For me personally blogging has helped a great deal with processing the everyday ups and downs. I also am inspired by the vast community who share their stories.
- We play games – card games, board games, or games with the dogs and it ensures we spend quality time with each other and our pets.
- Smile! Even if alone I smile. It’s amazing how it can uplift your mood.
- Listen to uplifting music
- Laughing. Whether reading something funny, laughing with friends or family to watching funny movies and TV shows. Laughter helps ease tension.
- Travel. When we travel I’m not glued to adoption related social media and it’s a get-away from the adoption mind set. Plus we get to enjoy new experiences.
- Sleep. I can be a much more positive influence on myself and others with the right amount of sleep.
- Exercise. Just walking the dogs around the neighborhood helps give me hope that one day I’ll be walking with our child and our dogs. Also exercise relieves stress and tension.
- Our positive reinforcement plaque