Is it negative or is it real?

The true value of an adoption blog is about being who you are in all the messy glory that entails.  Not every day is sunshine, rainbows, and unicorns. That said, I and others in the adoption blog community have been told our blogs are too negative and should add more fluff to make people happy; to entice expectant mothers to want to read more and possibly pick us to parent her child. I hope the expectant mom who reads this blog and picks us knows shes seeing us not fluff.

I’m all for being real.  I can’t and won’t live with faking myself, my emotions or our lives.  The emotions, all of them, in our journey are very real. The blogs I read are real people with real ups and downs and from all angles of adoption. I read birth mother blogs, hopeful adoptive parent blogs and blogs of those who have adopted domestically, internationally and through foster care.  They all have unique perspectives and I feel the more we read the better informed we are and will be when our time comes. 

I believe that showing yourself in your true light is how to get noticed by the right family. Open adoption is a difficult path for everyone involved and also extremely rewarding when the match is right.  I've watched it unfold for many happy families with our agency.  Is everything always perfect? No, but having the right match with the right expectant mom will be our gift.  I want that expectant mom to know us, the real us, when she chooses us for her adoption plan.  I have a great desire in maintaining that relationship for life because our child is for life.  In that desire I have to know and so does she, that we are right for that lifelong commitment. However that looks for her and us at match, placement, and as life goes on. We need to be flexible but committed with our agreed on plan which is built on trust and if we are true in our blog and other social media then when we talk she'll know it's truly us.

There are so many variables in people and it’s just as varied in adoption.  You never know what an expectant mom will be looking for or where she will see you so that online snap shot of who you are better be the people she meets.  

If our blog seems negative or depressing to you, try looking at it from a different perspective.  What may seem one way to you may be giving others hope or just the knowledge they aren't alone with how they are feeling that day. It’s also about our adoption journey no one else’s.  It’s as unique as everyone’s fingerprints.

Our blog is about processing our emotions whatever they may be. It’s about two people looking to have an open adoption. It’s about showing snippets of our daily lives from food, to pets, to vacations, to remodeling, playing games with friends or spending time with family. It’s about our dreams and holding on to hope, having faith it’ll happen, and writing about it. It’s about documenting everything while waiting to adopt to look back on. It’s about a future we long to have as a family of 3.