Monday, June 22, 2015
We've spent the last six weeks getting to know each other. Even though you were early in your pregnancy I never doubted your commitment for this open adoption. I loved our conversations and the pictures we exchanged in anticipation for what was next. The long and short conversations we’d have every day, I’ll miss those. I could feel the excitement even through email as our trip to meet and match was getting closer. You are Bright, beautiful, and one of the sweetest people I've had the privilege to “meet”.
Today everything would change. I've been dreading that phone call. I was hoping it would never come to pass but it remained in my mind since you first told me. I know how upset you are about this for us and we feel the same for you.
Today my heart breaks. It breaks for you, us and what could have been. It breaks because I can’t be there for you as you go through this. It breaks because I knew when I woke this morning that something must be wrong because you hadn't responded and that isn't like you. I wish I could call you and let you know it’s going to be ok and how sorry we are. We wanted nothing more than to include you in our lives but what’s important now is you. Please know it isn't anyone's fault, nothing could have been done. I know how strong you are and you will get through it, just as we will but know this I will miss you!
Please know if you need to talk I’m still here for you.
Wednesday, June 10, 2015
I haven’t written in awhile but the best bit about adoption for us has been the community of support. How great is that no matter where in the world we live we are united by a common thread. It doesn't mean our stories are the same or that our adoptions are anything but unique unto themselves but we all benefit from others experience.
We are still waiting to adopt and because of the community I am more able to have more positive days than not. Sure I still have those moments of frustration and anxiety but the community rallies round and lifts my spirits. It will happen for us and I hope to one day be that support and guidance from the other side of adoption just as many are to me now.
I will leave you with a picture of us having a blast with friend's in New York.